I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
