Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
