this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
how drunk are you?
Several
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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