He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
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I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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