Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You pole danced in your parka.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
