She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
