She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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