i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
