Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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