sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
