Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize