I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
