She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
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I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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