This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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