Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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