Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
