i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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