Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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