big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
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Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
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I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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