I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
