; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize