Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
