You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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