Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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