its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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