Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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