I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
