Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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