You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
