Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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