Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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