I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
