Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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