I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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