it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Damn victory sex feels great
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
