somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
