bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
