It's Friday. Sex?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
