I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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