Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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