woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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