You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
