I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
