Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Can't talk, ducks in the car
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
