So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
