But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
