i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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