i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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