That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
