She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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