im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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