Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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