Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
