Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
