Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
