onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize