You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
