In the future we'll all be gay
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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