toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
