Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
