i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
