North Korea, Best Korea!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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