He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
