just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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