he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
