Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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